Become the Ghostess with the Mostest by Avoiding These Design Trends
There's nothing ghosts love more than dank, dark houses full of nooks and crannies. But haunted attics and spooky cellars are so 1821, and ghosts in 2021 are unfortunately facing a new series of home trends that feel, well, unhauntable. Keep reading to learn more about the top home trends for 2021 that ghosts thoroughly "boo".
2021 Home Trends That Ghosts Loathe
1. Open Concept Anything
Ghosts love to hide in closets, under that one squeaky floorboard, and in attics filled with antique lace wedding dresses. With a fresh, breezy, open concept kitchen, there's simply nowhere for a ghost to hide. Try to accommodate the ghosts in your living space by filling your open concept kitchen with tightly locked trunks washed ashore from ships that were lost at sea. Not only will it give your ghosts a safe space to hide out while you snack on pizza, but it's a great conversation piece.
2. Yellow and Gray
Yellow and gray are Pantone's colors of the year. This complaint doesn't really have anything to do with home design - ghosts just think the color combination looks a little tacky, and they're not looking forward to seeing it implemented in the homes they've been forced to haunt until the end of eternity.
For many ghosts who left the cottages of their youth and moved to the suburbs, a return to cottagecore chic is far from ideal. Homeowners throughout the country have reported that anti-cottagecore ghosts have been known to mumble such put-downs as, "It's not cottagecore if you're not churning your own butter, Linda!" or even "You don't know the difference between port and starboard, David, and you don't live in a windswept, seaside cottage." One notable exception? Ghosts love Taylor Swift. Love her. Love the new albums and, yes, the old ones too. Can you believe she used to date Jake Gyllenhaal? Frankly, the ghosts can't, but they're happy that she's happy.
4. Benches Instead of Seats
There's nothing ghosts love more than sidling up to someone in a chair and making them feel cold and uneasy. It's basically ghosts' whole gig. But with the rise of benches at the dinner table instead of seats, ghosts have nowhere to sidle up to people without feeling like they're back at summer camp. They also think it looks weird when people need to get up from the table, and they need to push the whole bench back when they stand up. Sure, they're malevolent spirits, but ghosts have pretty reasonable taste in interior design trends.
5. Home Offices
Ghosts love a Victorian home office: a rolltop desk with a mysterious skeleton key, an ornate wooden desk full of secret compartments that can hide all sorts of goodies, from love notes to fake wills. But modern offices, with their clean, simple desks and sparse tabletop decorations, just don't appeal to ghosts.
"I tried to haunt someone who worked from home once," said one ghost who spoke on the condition of anonymity. "She just sent an email that said, 'Sounds good!' and then she stared out the window for a very, very long time. Then she did yoga in her office while her coworkers had a Zoom meeting behind her. It was boring and, frankly, very difficult to haunt."
To make your home office more hauntable, consider bringing in an antique wrought-iron birdcage or a tragic-looking doll. Your ghosts will thank you!
6. Statement Canopies
Actually, ghosts think these look pretty good. They're just annoyed that you keep getting tangled up in them while you sleep.
From plain white floors to plain white walls, ghosts don't see much to love about minimalism. Although some ghosts think it makes haunting easier ("All you need to do is throw a single sock on the ground to upset the balance of the entire room!" said one ghost, gleefully), others think it takes all the fun out of ghostwork. Also, it's just boring. A recent study found that 65% of ghosts spend the majority of their days haunting a wide variety of locations and wanted to spend their free time enjoying a comfortable, artistic area of their house — not sitting in a corner and staring at an off-white wall.
Ghosts see everything you're doing wrong with your plants, and they want to help — but they can't exactly pick up a watering can and get to work. Ghosts want you to know that you're overwatering your one succulent, underwatering your other succulent, and taking advice from the wrong people and Instagram accounts. This is why they keep throwing plant books at you when you enter your home's library. However, they're always glad to make some more friends, and your dead plants are rapidly adding to the number of ghosts in your home. Be careful, though: The souls of your dead plants are very restless and very, very determined to haunt you.
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